I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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