this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
