I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
