Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
