VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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