Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
