i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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