i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm at about main and main street
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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