Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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