So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize