I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
