Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm like, not good at living.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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