susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
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i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
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alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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