My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
