fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize