If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
