just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
