Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
