So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
