Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
