I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
