Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
