You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
