This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
