the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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