I hate all girls vehemently.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
