so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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