it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
