So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
