No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
