So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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