You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
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I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
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you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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