Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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