i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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