if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
