Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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