never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
