Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She announced her abortion via fbk
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
