So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
