i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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