Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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