all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
