this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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