You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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