Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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