At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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