Are we in a gay sports bar?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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