I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
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