He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
