AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
