I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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