Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
