let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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