I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Randomize
