I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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